Don't phunk with my heart...

Don't you just hate it when people just mess round with your emotions! It really gets o b my nerves to no end! I'm generally a very happy and caring person but when people take advantage of me the then we are at odds and i will get my karma in motion. so this guy l was talking to had the huge fight with finally texts back and we have a good conversation. ; mean he tells me that he is having family issues and he is at home dealing with that and all that, and l being the nice person that l am l offer a shoulder and some good advice you know.I genuinely care about how he is feeling and l am so concerned. but from what l saw toady l don't know if l can believe anything he has told me so far like seriously. he was all like lm still upset over the fight and l was thinking hey this guy is going through alot so let me not press this issue so l raise the white flag and accept that l was wrong to just avoid another unnecessary argument. he keeps pressing the issue and telling me that l was wrong and all that and l take it you know because lm am a nice person but wow l guess there was no need to be nice. Anyway l figure l will meet people like that through put my life but you what l have resolved... I refuse to let the actions and bad energies of other people to make me bitter so you know what lm going to continue to be happy and carefree and nice to everyone. This is my life and nothing you do will ever alter the way l see this beautiful world. I have wonderful friends and an amazing family so the ups and downs of love will not leave me wounded and bitter, rather they will make my life hat much more interesting. You will never find me saying anything negative about guys because l believe everyone should be given a clean slate to start with no 2 guys are alike and just because the last one was a douche does not mean that the next one has pay for his sins. I would like to think l can cheat it all to make up for the times l was cheated on. If you are lost and alone and you are sinking like a stone, carry on because no-one can stop you but you.

Hot Problems (official single) - Double Take

So l woke up this morning and l was introduced to this music video or whatever you want to call it and l was just in shock like straight up!

On behalf of all hot girls out there who aren't idiots l would just like to say we do not in anyway endorse/approve this video and its message. yes we have problems and sometime people make up crazy rumors about us but this is not the way to address that problem. The sensible among us keep our heads up, get to work and keep our goals in sight.

These two are just sad excuses of hot girls. In terms of real beauty these two possess none and l suggest they get off their high horse and get their feet firmly on the ground. Girls this is no way to act and l know you know better so please just focus on your grades and leave the music industry to the real artists.

Recent update on me.

So l haven't posted something new for a while now and thats mostly because l have had a lot of changes going on in my life right now. I feel like nothing is ever constant right now and everything could just change in a heartbeat which is kind of scary l should say. Right now lm at Community service, it really isn't much l just have to sit at the student diversity center for like 2 hours and that is the whole thing. For those of you wondering why lm even doing community services in the first place it was because l got caught drinking underage at a party. It sucks though but hey if you do the deed you gotta pay the price right. So my love life isn't going so hot right now. l met this guy and we had a really great connection but we recently had a huge blow out and l don't know if he is ever going to talk to me again, we will find out soon because l sent him a text and if he doesn't reply then l know that it is so done. lm hoping he replies though because l wouldn't mind patching things up and going back to the good old days. I could rant about how he was wrong and of course he was wrong l mean l just sent him a text telling him about how l don't like the way he addresses me when he texts sometimes and he just went off on me! it was a really bad fight because we finally ended it at like 3 in the morning and we left it sort of open so l don't know what to think. Personally l wouldn't have texted him because that would be admitting defeat but my friend told me that sometimes l have to lose and just get over it so yah, l have accepted defeat in this case. l have to tell you accepting defeat is so not cool and it feels crappy but hopefully it will resolve everything...if not then my friend is so in for it! So that mostly what is going on, oh yah l changed my major to Poli-Sci now l figured the sciences where not where my passions lie and l would rather do something that l actually like than be stuck in classes thinking "Kill me now." The only problem with this change is that l haven't told my parents yet and l don't know how they are going to react. I cant practice politics in my country because the political game in my country is just way too bloody which is a reason why my parents might now love my recent career change. Maybe l can just not tell them until graduation, l mean they don't have to know right....

Financila Issues...2

So now l have by some miracle lowered the balance l owe the school to $600. Pretty impressive hey but lm not out of the woods just yet. i have a meeting with the financial services director on Friday to see if they can get me an extension with the $600 just till the end of the month hopefully.

Oh and my roommate thinks she might be pregnant...not good. Haven't seen her since last night though and she doesn't know that l know so we will have to just wait and see hey. I think she went to get the morning after pill or something.

Well see you later individuals thats the update so far.

Financial issues...

So l need to come up with $5000 in like 24 hours... I have no idea where l am going to get it. l have been having mini heart attacks all day and lm about to find the nearest bottle of vodka and drink me some peace at least.

The money is to pay for school really so thats why lm totally freaking out. l have no idea how lm going to get out of this one. lm actually mad at God right now and lm not even sure if l want to believe in hi anymore. this whole school has been one thing after the other and all because l want to go to college....the irony of the situation hey.

Well thats my life right now if anyone out there can offers me help l would be glad to take it.

Untitled Poem l just wrote...

Who is the god of color and race and heritage
tell me who he is that l may go to him,
sacrifices made with pure heart,will l give him,
For my heart has grown weary and my roots lie exposed.

My own color betrays me while my masters pledge their loyalty to me.
They call me exotic therefore different from all others
The distance that years me up inside makes me worthy to them.

I am wined and dined by my conquerors yet devoured by my fellow soldiers,
Their eyes pierce my soul and they judge me from behind closed doors,
their distant words filled with lies and shame reach my ears
they create circles that end without me and place me in triangles that don't exist.

And so disgraced l turn to my masters who pledge their loyalties.
For what am l to do but accept it and offer them my own.
Some things they do not understand and never will,
Some words they utter about my fellow soldiers are cruel
but what can l do for self preservation is stronger than compassion.

10 things l never want to hear...

1. I broke your Ipod.

If anyone ever says that to me l guarantee you that shit will go down! I love my Ipod to death its like my baby and if anyone does anything to my maternal instincts will kick in. I mean its only reasonable right....lol!

2.Can we have sex.

If you have to ask me to have sex then honey you are doing it wrong and you need to get up out my face. That shit cray!

3.You are skinny

Yes l weigh 102 pounds but don't you dare tell me that l am skinny. This is not coming from a conceited weight issue thing but because when l was growing l was made fun of for being skinny so to me that will always come across as an insult. So just stay away from that phrase.

4. You have to pay.

Okay so l have to admit l am a material girl so what get over it! I love shopping but l also love not having to pay and lucky for me l haven't had to pay much of my life so yah don't utter those words to me.

5. Hook me up with your friend.

I have played hired matchmaker for a while and l always ended up in very weird situations. I hooked up my friend and the guy always choose to text me to tell her stuff and l ended up basically as the middle man to the point where l had to break up with him and l wasn't even in the relationship so yah keep that to yah!

6. Lets get divorced.

I am Catholic so getting a divorce kind of means that l am stuck single until your lame ass drops dead. People live long these days so you can understand where my dislike for this phrase comes from.

7.Your parents have been eaten by cannibals.

This is kind of random but l heard it in the mean girls movie and l thought, "Wow l wouldn't want to hear that either!"

8.Ghosts talking to me

Its ghosts need l say more!!!

Okay so l couldn't come up with 10 things...sue me! Have a good day/night individuals! :)