Financial issues...

So l need to come up with $5000 in like 24 hours... I have no idea where l am going to get it. l have been having mini heart attacks all day and lm about to find the nearest bottle of vodka and drink me some peace at least.

The money is to pay for school really so thats why lm totally freaking out. l have no idea how lm going to get out of this one. lm actually mad at God right now and lm not even sure if l want to believe in hi anymore. this whole school has been one thing after the other and all because l want to go to college....the irony of the situation hey.

Well thats my life right now if anyone out there can offers me help l would be glad to take it.

Untitled Poem l just wrote...

Who is the god of color and race and heritage
tell me who he is that l may go to him,
sacrifices made with pure heart,will l give him,
For my heart has grown weary and my roots lie exposed.

My own color betrays me while my masters pledge their loyalty to me.
They call me exotic therefore different from all others
The distance that years me up inside makes me worthy to them.

I am wined and dined by my conquerors yet devoured by my fellow soldiers,
Their eyes pierce my soul and they judge me from behind closed doors,
their distant words filled with lies and shame reach my ears
they create circles that end without me and place me in triangles that don't exist.

And so disgraced l turn to my masters who pledge their loyalties.
For what am l to do but accept it and offer them my own.
Some things they do not understand and never will,
Some words they utter about my fellow soldiers are cruel
but what can l do for self preservation is stronger than compassion.