A panda walks into a restaurant, sits down and orders a sandwich. After he finishes eating the sandwich, the panda pulls out a gun and shoots the waiter, and then stands up to go. "Hey!" shouts the manager. "Where are you going? You just shot my waiter and you didn't pay for your sandwich!"
The panda yells back at the manager, "Hey man, I am a PANDA! Look it up!"
The manager opens his dictionary and sees the following definition for panda: "A tree-dwelling marsupial of Asian origin, characterized by distinct black and white colouring. Eats shoots and leaves."
And that is why punctuation is so important! l just though l might liven things up with a joke because really l just like to laugh and have a good time despite my tumultuous life!
Tuesday, 10 April 2012
Monday, 9 April 2012
SuperHead Problems....
Now l honestly understand why Karrien 'SuperHead' Stefans wrote that book exposing all the major rap stars because they were 'B*tch-Niggas' and it was payback time.
Unfortunately it turns out that l have become the 'SuperHead' of my small suburban college the only difference is l don't even know 80% of the guys l have supposedly given head to and the other 20% have never gotten more than a hug and an hour of us watching tv! So basically whenever a guy asks me to give him a BJ and l say no he turns around and tell all his friends that the infamous "Superhead' has finally graced his presence and he is pleased....In turn all his 2 of his friends who l never met will chime in that they too have had the pleasure(no pun intended) of the infamous "SuperHead', after which the group will sit back drink a couple of cheap disgusting beers and rave about how much of an easy push l am.
Who knows maybe l can turn this into a best-seller just like the amazing Miss Stefans...will see.
Unfortunately it turns out that l have become the 'SuperHead' of my small suburban college the only difference is l don't even know 80% of the guys l have supposedly given head to and the other 20% have never gotten more than a hug and an hour of us watching tv! So basically whenever a guy asks me to give him a BJ and l say no he turns around and tell all his friends that the infamous "Superhead' has finally graced his presence and he is pleased....In turn all his 2 of his friends who l never met will chime in that they too have had the pleasure(no pun intended) of the infamous "SuperHead', after which the group will sit back drink a couple of cheap disgusting beers and rave about how much of an easy push l am.
Who knows maybe l can turn this into a best-seller just like the amazing Miss Stefans...will see.
Saturday, 7 April 2012
Badass Friends....
I have come to the conclusion that there is never a moment of peace and quite in my life.....NEVER!
Here l was chilling on my laptop when my roommate/bff comes in. She opens up with the line, "We need to talk..." now lm sitting there like WHATTTTTTT?????! Then she tells me that one of my guy friends has had the balls to be telling people behind my back that l am easy! Imagine that, of course l was pissed! The last thing you ever want to do to me is be a fake a** B*tch-Ni**ga! that is just not going to fly with me! I serious felt like taking a baseball bat and just swinging it at his head until l saw blood and lots of it!
What people don't understand is behind this sweet face and funny, carefree personality is a person capable of recking untold amounts of havoc! I don't have a brother so that means l had to fight my own battles and those of my sisters so l can throw down if need be!
So l called this guy up to get him to meet me face-to-face, but of course in the way of B*tch-Niggas he skipped out on me. He didn't even have the guts to pick up the phone, like WHaTTTTTTT!!! Grow a set dude okay!
So for all those out there who like to say crap about people when they are not looking you better be able to say it to their face!
Here l was chilling on my laptop when my roommate/bff comes in. She opens up with the line, "We need to talk..." now lm sitting there like WHATTTTTTT?????! Then she tells me that one of my guy friends has had the balls to be telling people behind my back that l am easy! Imagine that, of course l was pissed! The last thing you ever want to do to me is be a fake a** B*tch-Ni**ga! that is just not going to fly with me! I serious felt like taking a baseball bat and just swinging it at his head until l saw blood and lots of it!
What people don't understand is behind this sweet face and funny, carefree personality is a person capable of recking untold amounts of havoc! I don't have a brother so that means l had to fight my own battles and those of my sisters so l can throw down if need be!
So l called this guy up to get him to meet me face-to-face, but of course in the way of B*tch-Niggas he skipped out on me. He didn't even have the guts to pick up the phone, like WHaTTTTTTT!!! Grow a set dude okay!
So for all those out there who like to say crap about people when they are not looking you better be able to say it to their face!
Shit Single girls say
Okay i am about to go on a major single girl rant right now. Not over guys, or blind dates or extremely tight corsets that are supposed to make me look like Angelina Jolie but better( yeah they don't work trust me), but about my friends who happen to be couple!
So lm single right and l love it, l love not having to share a bed with some sweaty male and l love th fact that l can go out on dates with different interesting people every week,awesome this is basically how my dating life is set up, l have my permanents who l know l can hang out with whenever and then l every weekend l go about to a party and usually end up meeting a fabulous guy who will be in my life for a maximum of 2 weeks, until someone more interesting come along.... at the same time l have 2 friends who are a couple and sometimes l party with them you know they sit in a corner and drink and talk while l dance the night away with some stranger l just met the we go home and l slip into my bed happy and they share a twin size bed l don't know how they feel about that.
I must admit that they have shown a little dislike in they way l do things but l like guys lm single lm allowed to go out and meet new people! One time the guy told me to go change my outfit because the shorts l was wearing were too short....they are shorts thats the point!!!!!
Anyway what really set me off was last night. We were hanging out you know having some drinks nd having a good time and we got a little faded.We decide to go over to the boys dorm and hang out with some friends over there who were watching a movie, so we get there and l am having a ball as usual and they are just barely getting by. So we see this cute guy walk by and one of my guy friends says he can hook me up so lm like "make it so"!
So he hooks me up and me and this guy go into his room to you know get to know each other. the problem is the girl of the couple kept coming in and wanting to find out what was going on, l told her nothing that we were just chilling but she kept insisting that l go home and go to bed! I am like what! why would l want to go home when l am having such an awesome time like WHATTTT are you serious go back to your boyfriend and leave me to my enjoy my new found company!
It turns out they were waiting for me for the longest time and wanted me dragged out of that room, strapped to my bed and dosed withs sleeping pills. Finally my friends convinced them to leave but not before they expressed their disappointment in me..... Uhm excuse me but disappointment?
You two are in a relationship why in the world are you interested in what l am doing, is it really that boring. I am singe
and 20 for crying out loud if l wanted to sleep with the guy l do not need your permission or approval to do it. This is what happens when the fun in your relationship is non-existent before 1 am in the morning and dies out the minute you get out of bed. as for me
Single People Unite and Protect your right to meet new people!
So lm single right and l love it, l love not having to share a bed with some sweaty male and l love th fact that l can go out on dates with different interesting people every week,awesome this is basically how my dating life is set up, l have my permanents who l know l can hang out with whenever and then l every weekend l go about to a party and usually end up meeting a fabulous guy who will be in my life for a maximum of 2 weeks, until someone more interesting come along.... at the same time l have 2 friends who are a couple and sometimes l party with them you know they sit in a corner and drink and talk while l dance the night away with some stranger l just met the we go home and l slip into my bed happy and they share a twin size bed l don't know how they feel about that.
I must admit that they have shown a little dislike in they way l do things but l like guys lm single lm allowed to go out and meet new people! One time the guy told me to go change my outfit because the shorts l was wearing were too short....they are shorts thats the point!!!!!
Anyway what really set me off was last night. We were hanging out you know having some drinks nd having a good time and we got a little faded.We decide to go over to the boys dorm and hang out with some friends over there who were watching a movie, so we get there and l am having a ball as usual and they are just barely getting by. So we see this cute guy walk by and one of my guy friends says he can hook me up so lm like "make it so"!
So he hooks me up and me and this guy go into his room to you know get to know each other. the problem is the girl of the couple kept coming in and wanting to find out what was going on, l told her nothing that we were just chilling but she kept insisting that l go home and go to bed! I am like what! why would l want to go home when l am having such an awesome time like WHATTTT are you serious go back to your boyfriend and leave me to my enjoy my new found company!
It turns out they were waiting for me for the longest time and wanted me dragged out of that room, strapped to my bed and dosed withs sleeping pills. Finally my friends convinced them to leave but not before they expressed their disappointment in me..... Uhm excuse me but disappointment?
You two are in a relationship why in the world are you interested in what l am doing, is it really that boring. I am singe
and 20 for crying out loud if l wanted to sleep with the guy l do not need your permission or approval to do it. This is what happens when the fun in your relationship is non-existent before 1 am in the morning and dies out the minute you get out of bed. as for me
Single People Unite and Protect your right to meet new people!
The trouble with relationships...
I haven't posted in a while and that is because l had midterms this week so it gets kind of crazy you know.
Anyway the main issue bugging me this week is my best friends relationship. I have a feeling her boyfriend isn't all that into her anymore you know and that is kind of bugging me a little.
The thing is me and this guy have been friends longer than my him and my bestfriend. he asked me to hook him up and by the fabulous Match-making powers l had vested in me by Cupid l made it happen! Side note l am awesome at matchmaking like for real, but l suck at picking my own dates~ it a blessing and a curs, woe is me!
Anyway so l hook them up and things kind of start out a little rocky...The still are rocky because sometimes he just acts like a dick but she just brushes it off and keeps begging for his attention until he gives it to her. I don't know about you but that sounds off to me.
Last week we slept over in his room and he was in my bed for the longest time and we were just playing around and stuff. I mean it was fun but dude its like 4 in the morning can you go back to your own bed where your girlfriend is waiting for you and get out of my bed. She did stay awake for a whole waiting for him to come to bed but he wasn't coming so eventually she feel asleep.
While we were playing around in the sheets certain places were touched and he did say he liked my boobs so l was like, what!!!! he isn't supposed to like my boobs at all that not cool dude!
But like thats whats up l don't know what to think of the guy because he does have his own smooth ways of dealing with girls. another thing is they don't really have much of a conversation, so my homie was saying that maybe he is just not that into her anymore. he thinks that the guy is just hanging around for the sex now thats all.
e
Anyway the main issue bugging me this week is my best friends relationship. I have a feeling her boyfriend isn't all that into her anymore you know and that is kind of bugging me a little.
The thing is me and this guy have been friends longer than my him and my bestfriend. he asked me to hook him up and by the fabulous Match-making powers l had vested in me by Cupid l made it happen! Side note l am awesome at matchmaking like for real, but l suck at picking my own dates~ it a blessing and a curs, woe is me!
Anyway so l hook them up and things kind of start out a little rocky...The still are rocky because sometimes he just acts like a dick but she just brushes it off and keeps begging for his attention until he gives it to her. I don't know about you but that sounds off to me.
Last week we slept over in his room and he was in my bed for the longest time and we were just playing around and stuff. I mean it was fun but dude its like 4 in the morning can you go back to your own bed where your girlfriend is waiting for you and get out of my bed. She did stay awake for a whole waiting for him to come to bed but he wasn't coming so eventually she feel asleep.
While we were playing around in the sheets certain places were touched and he did say he liked my boobs so l was like, what!!!! he isn't supposed to like my boobs at all that not cool dude!
But like thats whats up l don't know what to think of the guy because he does have his own smooth ways of dealing with girls. another thing is they don't really have much of a conversation, so my homie was saying that maybe he is just not that into her anymore. he thinks that the guy is just hanging around for the sex now thats all.
e
Sunday, 1 April 2012
The Romantic Era Teach Me How to Dance
Absolutely love this song because it helped kick start last night! Awesome band!
Thinking about a new post
I had a crazy Saturday night and l feel it should be documented but l am feeling to tired to like sit down and write out an entire post....(Ahhhh l hate how lazy l can get sometimes!)
Maybe after dinner and a mountain of cupcakes and Mountain Dew l can crank out an epic post worthy of last night. we will see, but this night will be documented i'm just not sure when?
Maybe after dinner and a mountain of cupcakes and Mountain Dew l can crank out an epic post worthy of last night. we will see, but this night will be documented i'm just not sure when?
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)